Eating That Elephant

I never thought I would say this, but I had kale for dinner last night and it was delicious.

As a child, I was forced to eat kale and I hated it. Kale was out-hated only by okra (which I have to try again, though I’m told it is a delicacy). I lived on a large community (what you would call a “commune”) where most of our food was grown by hand, and only a small amount of necessities were purchased with the small pot of community money. I can remember toilet paper being rationed to a certain number of rolls per household per week, and bananas being only given to children under 2, and only 1 per week at that.

Kale was good for me, I was told, and since it was one of the few vegies that would grow *in the snow*, it came at a time when nutrition was especially low. I had heard tales of “wheat berry winter” where the mills had broken down, there was no money to fix them, and all there was to eat were wheat berries cooked like cereal – perhaps a little salt if you had stored some away – but fortunately I didn’t live there during that time!

Luckily I actually didn’t mind the bland flavor of soybeans, which were the mainstay of our diet; most children detested them. Pinto beans, more of a rarity, I didn’t care for and would often eat as pills, swallowing each one whole, or I would surreptitiously feed them to the cat waiting under the table, who couldn’t afford to be picky either. But kale, there really is no way to swallow whole. I clearly remember gagging down this horribly bitter tasting leaf which I was convinced really was a noxious weed. If we had vinegar, sometimes I could mask the taste with that, but as I grew older and we moved off the community, I resolved to leave kale and pinto beans behind me as a part of my past. I would explain to friends in college that it wasn’t that I didn’t like beans – I had simply already eaten my lifetime supply.

So I was quite surprised when, over at a friends house, I observed her and her 3 year old daughter not only enjoying but fighting over (complete with dualing forks) sauteed kale. Eating kale is definitely not something I would put past this vegetarian, ultra-nutrition oriented friend, but her daughter? I tentatively asked to try a bite – whoever came up with the strategy of not giving your children food that you want them to have, and eating it all yourself with relish, must have been a genius as it certainly worked on me.

It must have some nutrient I’m in need of, because that one bite (which I admitted was quite good) got a hold of me. I started craving more and bought my own bunch. Of course, once it was in my kitchen, all of my doubts returned – it still was that squeaky, beautifully dark-colored leaf that I had detested for so long and admired as a pretty addition to a plate but not actually considered food. After several days of considering it and opting for the lettuce instead, I finally tried it, cooked in some bacon fat and lots of apple cider vinegar. It was … not bad, I admitted. The next day I tried microwaving it, as I only had a few minutes. That was a horrible mistake – I can only guess that it was the metal content caused it to spark and shrivel. Finally on my third try, it came out wonderful. Delicious. Here’s what I did.

Lisa Rediscovers Kale

Wash kale and tear leaves from stalks into bite-sized pieces. Trim ends off stalks, and slice into very thin disks. Melt a pat of butter in a covered pan. Add kale and stalk disks, 1/2 cup of water, and steam for about 10 minutes or until disks lose their bitterness and kale is starting to get soft. Meanwhile, chop about 1/2 cup red or sweet yellow onion and a bit of garlic. Push kale to sides, and add onion and garlic with another pat of butter to center of pan and soften to transparent.

Taste, and add salt, vinegar, or other ingredients as needed. (At the last minute, I added some sliced breakfast sausage that I had leftover so that it was made into a meal – it went surpisingly well together!)